Tuesday, September 17, 2013

My Dream vs. Reality

Have you ever had those moments when you have something planned out perfectly in your mind?  You picture how beautiful the outcome will be and then you actually complete the task and it just doesn't look as glorious as you had envisioned?  That is is me...often!  It seems to be my life these days! 

As I shared last blog I'm a tad OCD.  I strive for perfection and order.  Don't get me wrong this isn't all bad.  In fact I'm positive that it is a great quality for a photographer because I am constantly editing and re-editing an image until I'm happy with the outcome.  But there are days when I feel like I just can't seem to catch up or keep anything in order. There was a time when my house was ALWAYS clean.  Everything had a place.  There was a time when birthday cards were purchased a month in advance and mailed so that they arrive by the birthdate (my nephew's birthday is today and the card just got put in the mailbox this morning).  There was a time when all the paperwork was filed away neatly.  There was a time when I ordered our personal photos monthly, organized in photos boxes and each of my kiddo's scrapbooks was up to date.

I keep asking myself what happened!?  How did I go from being that person to the person I am now; always trying to play catch-up.  All I can come up with is that the dynamics of my life have changed.  I went from one child, to two and then three!  My kiddo's are getting older which means that they are involved in more activities and I'm the chauffeur.  And don't even get me started on homework!  My husband and I direct a college ministry and I oversee all the finances, mentor students and attend events.  I started a business that is more time consuming than I ever dreamed!  When I list it all out it's no wonder that I'm constantly running throughout the day trying to keep up.

Each day that passes the reality sinks in a little deeper that chaos might just be a new normal for me. Last night I had a photo session with 2 adorable little children.  When I say adorable I mean A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!  As soon as the session was over I rushed to the grocery store to decide what amazing treat I could make for my oldest son to share with his class this morning.  Now in the past I would have had it planned out months in advance and the treats would have already been sitting on my counter, but not last night.  I entered the store and searched the aisles, weighed my options of what was affordable, could be quick and easy and still make me look like super mom!  I left with 24 ice cream cones, 2 boxes of whoppers and a beautiful mental picture of how it would all turn out.  I got home in time to put the kiddos to bed.  Then I began my project.  I completed a couple treats and it just didn't look like I imagined; even my husband was questioning my attempt.  But hey, it was 9:00 pm and I still had to decorate and wrap presents, which again would have been done prior to the night before.  I wrapped up my birthday treat creations and called it good! I moved on to decorating, cleaning, a quick edit for sneak peaks from my session that night, posted the sneak peak on facebook, checked on all the kiddos and gave them kisses and call it a day!

Yep that is my new reality!  It isn't perfect, but it's my life as a wife, mom and photographer.  Can anyone else relate?  I'd love to hear from you so I know I'm not alone!

The finished birthday treats looked much better after they were wrapped.  Maybe I am supermom after all!

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