Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Let's Be Real I'm the Mom That...

It has been a long time since I written a post about trying to balance my life as a wife, mom, woman in ministry and photographer.  The reality is that I just have not had a lot of time to write.  It is winter in Montana which for me means that my photography is in a slow season and while I love meeting clients, taking pictures and editing a picture to match my heart and style, I welcome this slow season. I welcome it because despite the fact that photography is in a slow season the rest of my life is still moving at full speed!  I'm taxiing my kids to and from school, sports, music, church, play dates, volunteering at school and church, mentoring friends and students, don't get me started on the laundry and my house! Even as I type my 4 year old is asking me to put hair back on his Playmobil toy. 

As I was trying to prepare my home for a visit from a new friend I thought to myself let's just be real I'm the mom that...

1.  Wants everything in my home to have a place and yet everything seems to be out of place.

2.  Despises the "junk drawer" and has two junk baskets sitting on top of my fridge.

3. Desires to feed my kids the best foods but still throws the box of sugar cereal in the cart and buys my preschooler a ring pop at the check-out.

4. Cleans before company arrives but wishes I didn't have to.  There are only a few people whom I trust will see my mess and not judge me.

5. Is TIRED of homework and the recent science project.

6. Knows the right way to respond when my children misbehave and still lose my cool sometimes.

7. Plans family fun days only to have them turn into a family disasters.

8.  Attempts to plan well balanced dinners and my kids end up eating chicken nuggets and mac & cheese.

9. Has kid's toothpaste in the bathroom sink, a ring of pee around my toilet and finger prints on the bathroom mirror and every window in the house.

10. Has coloring pages on the fridge and paint sets by the sink.

11.  Promised myself I would never use TV as a babysitter and have done it more times than I care to admit.

12.  Always wanted a peaceful clutter free bedroom and it has turned into the place where everything goes when I don't have time to sort through it, file it or put it away.

13. Once deep cleaned every week and now weeks have gone by since I last mopped my floor.

14. Works out on occasion and then heads to DQ after the workout for my favorite blizzard.

15.  Thought I could be supermom and then realized I'm not.

This journey that I have been on has been beyond humbling.  I desire order and structure and in many ways control.  But by baby number 2, who was born at 24 weeks, I learned I was definitely not in control and by baby number 3, I learned that my OCD was going to have to take a backseat to the reality of my life.  It has been a painful process of letting go and recognizing that my identity and worth is not tied to the expectations I set for myself or the things that I accomplish.  What I've known all along but struggled to believe is that I am worth far more than what I cross off on my to do list when my identity is in Jesus.  Jeremiah 31:3 reads, "I have loved you with an everlasting love."  God loves me because I am His child and just as I want the best for my children He wants the very best for me.  Sometimes the very best thing during a crazy moment in my day is to "Be still and know that He is God."  Psalms 46:10.  He loves me in those moments when I choose to rest in who He is and absolutely nothing gets done on the check-list of the day.

I can take joy in the fact that I am also the mom that...

1.  Will sit down, cuddle and read a book with my kiddo because the laundry will always be there but the cuddles will come less and less.

2.  Will say yes to a having a friend visit because people are far more important than tasks.

3.  Stand beside the piano as my kids practice so they know that I'm in it with them.

4.  Plays a game with my kids even if I've played it a hundred times before and it's not my favorite.

5.  Makes homework time a priority because I want my kids to value hard work and excellence.

7.  Takes time to really engage my children in conversation when they are sharing something that is important to them.

8.  Plans a fun project even if it means it will make a huge mess.

9.  Tucks my kids into bed with a book, a devotion and bedtime prayer.

10.  Is learning to rest in Jesus and realize that quiet time with Him and in His Word is far better than a perfectly clean house.

I hope that you'll be encouraged in the journey of motherhood that you are currently in!  Life is short so let's learn to let go of the tasks and enjoy the moments together! Here are a few of my favorite moments from this year.

My 4 year old who is full of personality.

My two oldest kiddos at a school ski day.  First ski trip ever.

There was definitely rivalry at our house on Super Bowl Sunday.

Happy Valentine's Day for my bunch!

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